Discussing Changing Roles After Baby

The first 6 months after you give birth are filled with incredible growth and change for babies and parents alike. The support of partners, family and friends will be incredibly important as you navigate these changes. To prepare for this important transition period, we encourage you and your partner to take time to think about and discuss your changing roles. 

Get Started:

Find a time when you and your partner can spend at least 30 minutes together, discussing your roles. Ideal times are when you aren’t too tired or stressed, and you both feel energized to explore this together. You may want to go to your favorite restaurant or find your favorite comfortable chairs in your home.

Grab a notebook or few sheets of paper so that you can reflect on the prompts below separately. Silence your phone, feed your dog in advance, and give your partner your full and undivided attention. You and your relationship deserve this!

Write down your answers to the prompts below, individually. Don’t worry, you’ll have time to share your reflections with your partner after you are done. 

Discussion Prompts:

• With the arrival of our new baby, I expect my role in our relationship as a couple to change in the following ways…
• With the arrival of our new baby, I expect my partner’s role in our relationship as a couple to change in the following ways…
• Even with these role changes, it is important to our relationship that we are…
• Thinking about adding a child to our family and becoming a parent (either for the first time or again), makes me feel…
• After having a child, I expect my role in my job/career (whether working inside or outside of the home) to change by…
• With the arrival of our new baby, I expect our roles with our friends to change in the following ways…
• With the arrival of our new baby, I expect our roles with our families to change in the following ways…

Now spend some time reviewing your responses with your partner and then answer the following questions as a couple:

1. Where did you have similar areas of overlap in your response?
2. In what ways did you differ the most?
3. Which of your partner’s comments surprised you the most? 
4. Based on what you learned, is there anything that you want to do to support yours and your partner’s role changing journey?

Parenting is a learning process and an evolution. Your roles will continue to evolve, just as your child will continue to grow and change. This is part of the joy and excitement of parenting. Remember to keep the lines of communication open with your partner as hopefully, these role changes can bring you closer together as a family during this exciting season of your lives.